Carlos Xuma – Advanced Audio Coaching Session 13

Advanced Audio CoachingSession 13Table of Contents1. 14:06OPENING:Avoidance SyndromeWe don’t like conflict or confrontationWomen avoiding “no”Her relationship to herself is an indicatorExample: Missing appointmentsShe wants comfort/acceptanceGive a rewardGuilt affectEasier to avoid than confrontWhy people flakeWhat’s in it for her?What chemistry isSmoothnessAvoid the bumpsIt’s more about her feelings about herselfDon’t confrontDriving ExampleNo strings attached2. 12:06PhilosophyStory – The GrandMaster and the StudentGet a little better than yesterdayImprovements each dayHave you grown?There’s always someone better (and someone worse)Repetition will succeed in place of geniusWomen live in comparisonUse comparison and insecuritiesMen who understand are revered3. 13:59Insight into the Female SocializationTestingExample – “Yes, mama.”Regarding looksHow boys develop vs. girlsSocial interaction and her childhood learningSet clear boundaries4. 12:07Great amount of informationReasons for continuing your learningAlpha Man vs. Nice GuysNice Guys don’t get laidAlpha/Jerk traitsYou still need Nice TraitsTrying too hardwww.alphaseduction.comMan’s greatest weakness is his greatest strength, tooMen are competitive and lonersWomen are competitive AND adversarial5. 12:13Phone due diligenceAdvanced phone skillStart out with basic skills and layer advancedDue Diligence definitionObsessing over too few numbersDon’t become too attachedNo one contact is so important to wimp out forAfter you get the right attitude, you can then focusStart tracking in a database:Name, #s, location, any details, family info, trivia, datesHow to handle them if they say they have a boyfriendBe there at the right time – PersistCold call directoryAs many as it takes – but don’t stalk!Be the Last Man StandingUse common sense – if she tells you to stop calling, stop.Handling caller IDGet and use the cell # when possibleThe reality of cell phone accessibilityOut of reach, battery dead, ringer off, etc.6. 10:47Phone Due Diligence Pt. 2Call 2-3 times in close successionDoesn’t want to answer, too much noise, not enough timeGive her the opportunity to answerAfter 3 rings, endDon’t leave messagesHow to turn it aroundDon’t ever wait on HER callIf you connect but she cannot rememberAre you worth keeping?It’s gutsy moves that will get you the winsThat’s Good!What if she has a boyfriend?Your list will double your attitudeYou’re not needy or desperate – you’re confidentDifference between needy and confident7. 13:07Quality of LifeKnow your Fundamentals and basicsA man’s success comes from one thingExternal indicators are not necessaryAlways be seeking to improve your quality of lifeIt’s not what you ownWomen are never an end – just a meansDon’t try to fill a void with another personWe don’t want to be aloneThe Affiliation Drive1 – Is she fit for the job?Can you be happy in silence and alone?2 – Does she meet your needs?3 – Can she make you happy?Define your self-motivators and drives8. 13:55Getting Balance in interactionsBalance of interest and aloofnessDon’t seem TOO interested, but you have to move things forwardDelicate balanceSee-saw examplePush/pull – key is the timingYou only have to be talking to her to indicate interestIf she only wants friends, she will not be confusedActively balancing the two – monitoring and awareness of interactionGoing after women with boyfriendsSuzie Q exampleHow to handle a rogue cockblockerDon’t back down or back offChange the tone from interest to slight doubt to prove yourselfPlayful tone and attitudeDoubt is the barYOU control the fulcrumWhoever controls it controls the rapport and balanceAND the interaction and tensionIf you are in doubt, you lost the controlConstant attention and awareness9.  8:26Why nice guys fail – TOO FASTContradicts the Value PrincipleMore risk and effort – the better it isWe want challenge and tensionSports ExampleNever defy “hard to get”Speed=desperationStandards are lowDon’t pounce – show skepticismYou gotta be cool10.  12:11EXERCISEEmotional Intelligence (Emotional Red Flags)Signals of threatRecognize and divertFigure out where your conditioned responses come upBe right or get laid, you chooseAvoid reaction1. Discomfort – something is not rightPerception issue or warningThreatened comfort zoneInteraction example2. FearFear is not a primary emotionSomething is going to happen – prepareMost deny it or wallow in itFAITH – how it gets you through11.  12:11″It’s okay…”Remove anxietyFallback to relaxation3. HurtCure = understanding whether there was a lossOne attitude will succeed, the other will damage youWhich one gets you to success faster4. AngerMost guys translate frustration to thisAnger is the pollution to your mindRoot out the causeDe-fuse it with acceptanceUnderstand when these feelings progressFollows the path of griefHow do you view your ex?Use your emotions as FUELThey’ll either be gas or chips in your oilCLOSING